Thoughts on Kala & Hiatus

The day after Thanksgiving 2020, the day before Advent 3340, I watched a video I’ll never forget, showing the horrific reality of what turkeys go through to get to our dinner tables. My entire world was rearranged in a handful of minutes. I’ve been vegan for the animals ever since.

The knowledge of what happens to these innocent creatures gives an immediate emotional response to verses like these that I never really got before I became vegan:

“Hope is dead, for the light of the Mother is fallen from You. You shall go down to suffering and death and no one shall save You. In the illimitable emptiness of the universe You shall stand alone and none shall give You comfort. In the darkness of eternal night You shall kneel to weep and no hand shall be put upon Your shoulder, but every hand shall be raised against You to do you hurt.” (1:7:3-5 NCU, Mythos of the Divine Maid 4:3-5 ECE)

Surrounded by keres [demons] who tear at Her Soul with their talons, the Daughter is taunted by demons who fling Her terrible fate in Her face, trying to tempt Her from Her path. She's terrified: "And the Maid was filled with trembling" (v6); "And the heart of the Maid fainted within Her" (v20). And it only gets worse as she approaches the Dark Queen.

And in some way, to know that She went through what they go through every day, that She underwent such pain and suffering that none should have to experience, just like they do, it is oddly a comfort. That She understands. Completely.

Of course, I can hear invisible critics already piping up: “You cannot compare what the Holy Daughter went through to what an animal goes through! What She experienced is infinitely More than anything we on this physical plane could ever experience!” And – I’m sure that that is true. But my head can’t imagine worse suffering than this. It’s like anything else when it comes to the divine: imagine X but more, think of Y but more. As the verse goes: “And truly, all sweetness is the far-blown scent of this sweetness, and all beauty is the pale and dimmed reflection of this beauty; and all music but the faint and distant echo of this music.” (Temple of the Heart, v15) There’s only so far my imagination can take me, only a degree or two better than what I have experienced, really. We have difficulty imagining how much money is when it reaches large enough amounts. And to imagine any being going through even worse agony than what can be experienced in this realm of existence lends such immediate sorrow to these verses we read this time of year.

That a divine being could do that, and would do it, without hesitation so that “neither a leaf upon a bramble shall be lost, nor a blade of grass pass into nothingness” (Pillar of Light, v18) – it makes the moment of Eastre all the sweeter, that much more precious. It gives me hope that those who are slaughtered may have something beyond this world for them too, that they may have a chance at a better life after the literal hell they endured here. It makes you understand why a divine being would put off their divinity (or delay it, as with Quan Yin), because there’s no way you can stay happily in heaven knowing such pain is going on below; you understand in the smallest degree why anyone would go through such pain willingly if it meant no one else had to anymore. And you can see why in later verses the Daughter reminds us “Do not say that you are innocent, for that would be to mock My suffering.” (Secret of the World, v14)

“Do not offer Me the sacrifice of blood, for I take no delight in the hurt of any creature; and My children, if you love Me, you are friend to every living thing and the soul of every maiden is your sister.”  – The Veil of Matter