A Leaf on the Wind

 "Like a leaf on the wind is the foolish soul blown without purpose." Pillar of Light, v43

This verse immediately precedes our last verse ("All the glories of earth are but shadows of Heavenly splendour"). Though the verse itself does say a leaf, a dandelion with its dancing seeds seemed an appropriate image to convey the meaning as well (and images of leaves blowing are hit-and-miss at best!).

For me, this verse hits close; both for my whole life thus far, as well as the current moment in it. I've struggled to find anything close to a purpose or dream or goal to strive for. I've been fighting to find something I can do since I was thirteen; when I hit twenty, I started to give up. If it wasn't going to happen after all that time, why now? And if I did find it -- I would feel that it was too late. Now as time continues to pass, I find myself in that fretful state those leaves and dandelion seeds go through, dancing here, flitting there, never stopping long, never getting far, going back, going forward, sideways. Stopping, always stopping.

Covid didn't help any of us on this front! For many of us who felt like we were finally getting out of that state, a year and more on lockdown stuffed us back into that space. I've aged a year as that dandelion seed, not knowing where I'm going or where I've been, and it doesn't look like it's going to change any time soon. I wait and wait and wait.

This dandelion seed -- this dancing leaf -- this foolish soul blows without purpose.

It will change one day, won't it?

The full verse reads (ECE): "Like a leaf on the wind is the foolish soul blown without purpose; the plaything of passions, the puppet of every desire, knowing not whence she comes, nor where she is going; seeking substance in shadows and having no heed for the Truth."